I went over your first email and I read both of your last email's and I don't get what you asked me besides "You like Talib"? And yes, I do to answer your question. I think Kanye, Talib and Lupe have been writing good music that tells a story for a long time and I as much as I listen to music, I didn't understand what was being said until year of 2009. Like in "I Heard Em Say", I didn't hear "And I know the government administered AIDS" until 2009 and that song came out years before AND I listened to it hundreds of times.
You're the first guy I've come across online who typed as much as I do or maybe even more. But, I promise you that I am not a perp' or someone who is working for the FBI. I know how that feels and because I do, I don't talk to anyone online except other victim's. And not many are on Youtube. If they are, they don't really bitch about being assaulted with device's like I do and the other's hide their face or they don't add people because they too fear the millions of people in fusion centers. But, you have to give YOURSELF peace of mind and you have to give YOURSELF justice. Give yourself peace of mind by leaving the internet and posting flyers that direct people to your channel. Justice for yourself is doing what the police, media and government will not do which is exposing what's happening.
When I say I didn't understand your email, I meant, you ramble alot. And I guess that if I tell you my personal experience, you'd think "you had a gay soap opera happen to you", but, it was really much deeper than it seems. I guess when you started your first email and explained how people speak and you brought up the southern accents...I didn't get it.
I do get that you are educated, confident over all and a victim of the same things I am a victim of. You made me double read when you said "I didn't know flaky, attractive, mean but whatever women are targeted, too" and it didn't offend me at all....I am a lot of things, including flaky when I don't feel like being bothered. I can be mean when I am pushed and I am not just mean...I will side with Satan for revenge and then come right back to God like those bitches I worked with at Kool Smiles who think they have God on their side. I am very direct so your being direct doesn't bother me as long as you don't try to flirt with me. I promise you I won't hurt you but, its really up to you to have power or enough power in you to not be affected by what someone does. I know how you feel, though. There are people who I thought of saying that too online but, I decided not to. The people who comment me are great but, they are people online who are sharing my battle and also promoting their own channel. I get the "I love you's" and "You're such a beautiful person" but, there was someone on one of my accounts who said the most beautiful things to me and because I was exploited so many people know how I feel about God and that I was looking to meet someone who would talk to me about God, pray with me, and grow with as a young woman but, this person was a perp and the day I got a black eye, she told me about a killer spider and I thought of the killer spider and said "I need one for the people stalking me" and when I thought electronic harrassment was someone who hated me enough to use witch craft on me, I told everyone in school and my mom that I got a black eye because a spider bit me. The people and even the teachers in my class had access to my accounts, knew it wasn't a spider and 2 of the teachers mentioned what I had favorited in my youtube accounts and when I talked about God...the teacher asked everyone "what makes you happy" and I said God....everyone cringed because this world is about to be a Godless place...and the teacher mocked me and used God's name like "well, I know GGOODDD, is your friend but, you can't use His name because I am referring to someone real"....
You know, I think about what happened to me everyday and I will not let go and I refuse to be attacked and just take it. I'm raped on a dialy basis and I have no control over my body. When my genital's are assaulted my body reacts and I feel a void inside me. And to have that void in me and continue to be attacked and react to it while being assaulted in my face, arms, feets and forehead pisses me off. But, don't get it twisted...I am having a ball fighting back.
One day it will be easier for you to talk about what you've been through to other people. And you don't have to entertain people with casual conversation. My twin and I are close but, I told him that I don't enjoy his company anymore and he's one of the dumbest people you could ever talk to. And believe me, I know I don't know you...(you said that)...but, I don't put men in the same catagory as all men. My twin and my cousin can be a sorry excuse for a man but, in the end, they have good qualities in them. They may not be all together financially but, some men are and they are arrogant and cocky. My twin is cocky anyway but, I know there are men like you who care about what's happening in the world and then there's men who don't. My twin talks about females and other shit that I don't care to talk about and when someone in my family tries to get me to watch a movie...I don't sit there and feel out of place. I make people who make me feel out of place, feel stupid. I tell them they watch stupid shit and when I really want to stab a bitch in the heart and make her think about her purpose in life, I simply tell her she's killing her own child or that maybe her baby has austism because its her fault. I mean really, there are all types of cancer in this world and people are dying because they can't afford medical care but, no one is saying "stop eatting this or that because this is exactly what's causing people's body to deteriorate"...there are so many REAL FACTS I could say to someone who knocks my passion in life. So, I don't fear judgement. I read your email and I will support you....and I don't even trust you. And my insecurity is that you'll turn into EVERY other guy I thought was cool online and I'll have to block you. We all have fears but, we have to overcome them....or not...I choose to overcome all my fears, even death. Death doesn't scare me. I fear that I'll come back to hell again (earth). Or worse, I'll come back as a guy or a ugly woman. If I come back to the earth, I want to be rich and famous and have the balls to expose the truth. Actor's are pretenders and everyday people can be actor's. Me, too. I have to pretend sometimes but for the most part, I don't bullshit people.
It's okay that you're being lazy right now. Give yourself time...be patient with yourself. Cry if you need to but, also know when to stop crying, get off your ass and promote your cause. I have learned the hard way that no one is going to fight for me. No one is going to help me. No one is going to feel sorry for what they started, come to me, explain their part or where it ended and try to work things out with me.
You have a lot to be blessed for because you're in college. I am working my way to the top. And the hard part is, when I worked at Kool Smiles, I was doing good but, at the bottom. I was a medical receptionist most of my life and now I have to climb my way back up because bitches who went to school for years and graduated fucked me over....I call them haters and the thing is, I am going to take everything away from them. If not, the least I can do is make their names "HOUSE HOLD NAMES". A house hold name is like a famous person who everyone in a family home would know.
Call me anytime and in a week my internet should be cut back on. My therepy is helping other people and sometimes, you have to step out or overcome your fears in order to help yourself. If I just stayed to myself and added no one online...my heart would feel like "I'm not telling the whole world.."""(blah, blah)....but, to answer you question...or assumption of me when you saw my picture....I am more than mean & flaky & attractive and I am a human being who knows that people follow people online and my picture's can be stolen all I care...but, I do get attention. That's all that matters.