Oh Scorpio -- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause you look like an angel. Think that's bad? Wait, I've got an even better one: Can you give me a quarter? I need to call the cops and tell them you've stolen my heart.
As if you could help it, you sexy thing. People sometimes ask me if Scorpios are really... you know. The answer, of course, is yes. This is not to say you're some kind of cheap floozy. Far from it, your standards are almost impossibly high. Butter doesn't melt in your mouth, but women can't help but dissolve. Once you track down worthy prey, you'll hypnotize her with your dangerous gaze and strike with your tongue. I wouldn't be surprised if your eyes were a snapping brown or black, but even if you have baby blues there's a pair of coals smoldering away somewhere back there. Jodie Foster was born in November, and she might have one of the most intense gazes on the silver screen. You keep the heat turned down just below the point of explosion, because you disdain a drama queen. The sloppy antics of a blustering Leo or whining Libra are just gauche in your opinion.
As women, and especially as lesbians, Scorpios tend to embrace the masculine side of their natures. This is not to assume you're hard butch, Scorpio. If you decide to play it femme, nobody matches you for untouchable grace and elegance. You can do the woman performance with all the pride of a faux queen. But no matter how you identify, there's something steely and controlled just beneath your exterior. Unlike a Pisces or an Aquarius you don't go out of your way to look for the best in people, and you certainly aren't holding your breath for the day when James Dobson will hold hands with Rosie O'Donnell and sing kumbayah. People who sell out bear the brunt of your indifference, right up there with ex's who let themselves go and friends who let you down.
Many astrologers would call your uncompromising behavior cold and calculating, but really you're just holding back the fire until you find someone who can take the heat. This applies to lovers, of course; but you also choose your friends and causes carefully. You hold yourself in high regard, so it's not like you're going to throw yourself away toiling for something or someone you don't care about. Anyone who tries to recruit you using flattery is just kidding themselves. "Would you play the Rubyfruit benefit? You're the best deejay ever." If you don't give a flip about whether a bar stays open, you'll probably just respond, "I know," and go move with your life.
It's performances like these that make you enemies, but few are foolish enough to defy you openly. If looks can kill, then yours is the head of the Medusa. Not that you walk around with a frown, a scowl or even a grin. Quite the contrary, you have a smooth poker face. Tell the truth: you work at it. You might be burning with rage, but you would never show it. Why get angry when you can get even? If you think a friend has gone out of her way to snub you, you'll snub her to even the score. You'll probably double your revenge to prove who's boss. Sounds like somebody needs some Oprah, my dear.
Don't be too pleased with yourself, even though it looks like you've got it all going on: a great poker face, power, and plenty of... you know. What's a G.I. Jane to do with it all? There's the rub. I think it's time to delve into the unique dual nature of Scorpio, which is one of the greater complexities of the zodiac. The scorpion that stoops low is a nocturnal predator, one who sneaks up on unsuspecting pray and strikes for the sheer pleasure of inflicting pain. But a Scorpio can always rise from the ashes of destruction to be reborn as an eagle -- still a predator, but at least the noble, beautiful kind.
There is a third variety of Scorpio, a sort of cautionary tale: the gray scorpion. This type doesn't strike out or fly high -- rather, she becomes trapped in a perverse reality of her own making. It's all very Blanche Dubois, and I recommend you get to a shrink immediately if start feeling paranoid. Speaking of which, make sure you get that yearly gyno checkup -- Scorpios tend to have trouble with their reproductive organs. You never know when Crosby, Stills, Nash or Young might offer to father your child (worked for Melissa Etherage and Julie Cypher). You might also have problems with nose bleeds, and not because just because you invite a punch in the face. Circulatory system, throat, arms, legs, it's all vulnerable. If you didn't have lot of stamina, I might be worried about you. You're a generally healthy person. And when death comes knocking, you have an uncanny ability to convince him you're not home.
So there it is, Scorpio. I don't know if you'll wind up being the president or a drunken mess. You might wander off into the Gobi Desert to meditate in solitude, or into the wilds of Manhattan. Whatever you decide to do, you'll put your soul into it. If you want to be a hedge fund manager, you'll throw your back out attempting to make the most billions. As a litigator, you'll have your jury under a spell. You simply don't have it in you to be flighty or noncommittal. This extends to both ambitions and relationships. Once you decide someone is on your team, you'll go to hell and back to save them, or at the very least promote their best interests. If you want my advice, keep plenty of Cancers and Pisces on your speed dial. They can get you in touch with the softer, gentler side of yourself. If nothing else, they'll appreciate your intensity. http://www.lestrology.com/profiles/lesbian_scorpio_profile.php