Wow! That's cool that you are writing a book. I never thought of writing a book until all this stuff started happening. And deep down, as I wrote, I hoped my mother and grandmother would look back at all the names I copied if something happened to me. I basically was trying to say "if I die, they did it". But, I can't write poetry or a non fiction book like my grandmother and cousin. I copy quotes and saying's from books I've read so I am a copy cat. I told myself that if I did die, than hopefully my family would publish my writings because my grandmother is going to leave a legacy although I wish she would start publishing now. The sad part is, you become famous when you die....its like your story has more value. And my hope is that one day my story will be told. I am not going to do anything now because I want to explain what I had been through for two years...it's like this puzzle that's been put together and now I have a few pieces left to add in but, I am still like "I can't be these other victim's who hold this in and live thier life knowing they were violated and the government got away with it". What I'm doing now is SO petty to me...no where near enough but, I learn something new everyday. The more I learn, the better I'll get at exposing Blue Beam & Monarch Projects. You know, for the most part I am a peaceful person but, I know in my heart, someone else will break and snap. I am an adult and I couldn't stop what happened to me. And this time, everyone knew about and did nothing. That's enough to make someone go into Kool Smiles and shoot all the parents and children and staff...but, not me. This has been about my faith in God...hearing voice's and knowing who He is. No one can take God away from me. I remember when I got upset with him and said "you watch them rape me" and I tore the cross in half and the bible was thrown across the room and then I saw Pink's Rockstar and she was walking around naked like "screw you, too" and that restored my faith in God. I thought "He gave me music again and right on time". Music is the story of my life. That's pretty boring. My twin said "Deiona, if this were a movie, be the star and when someone hurts you...turn it into a funny moment that makes other people laugh"...that helped me alot.
Keep working on your book and love your children. If they are young...you gotta talk to them about the video below....they could be like me and think you hurt them and they are having lost dreams....love beats everything. If you're good...they'll make it through the nightmare's...I feel like I gotta talk to "my" 7 year old about nightmare's. She told me she has them but she said she was being chased and I remember having those dreams as a child but, I was even too afraid to say "it is more than that"?