I wanted to tell you my secret

 
I wanted to tell you my secret
In the end we will conserve only what we love. We will love only what we understand. We will understand only what we are taught. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Before my old email account was deleted, (carlymarie82@yahoo.com). I typed in my email that (while I worked at Kool Smiles) that before I left the Galt House, I missed a "friend" (who wasn't my friend at all) because she left the Galt House before me. I left The Galt House in November 2007, I think on the 17th and a week or more before I left, the sexuall harrassment case had started. I had a dream of meeting Latosha Johnson after I told myself that maybe the only way I would ever see my friend, her sister again was if her sister and I worked together. I had never meant her before before and I only knew she had two sisters, one named Shanelle and the other named Latosha Johnson. I was even shown her picture before I had a dream of her. But, the day or night that I wondered if the only way I would ever see McCray again was if I met on her sister on a job because this is such a small town. In my dream of meeting Johnson on the job, we were friend's and at the end of my dream, I asked her if she was related to McCray and she did what she didnt do in reality, she said yes, I am. A month before I was hired at Kool Smiles, I saw McCray in her car and we both said hi and bye but, I told her I was going to start working at Kool Smiles. I'm not saying that I was set up but, I think that its possible because I looked for Kool Smiles online while I was being stalked on myspace, playlist and youtube. When I started working at Kool Smiles, Johnson seemed friendly and even stayed in my apartment until damn near 2am readin the Bible to me (no shit) and I had asked her about four times if she was related to McCray. I told her that she looked like her and that God sent her to me because I asked for someone to teach me more about God but, at the time I was still attracted to McCray so I asked for that someone to favor her in looks. At the time, I thought meeting Johnson was fate and God's work but, I doubt it now. She is pure evil and to know that she played her part in everything while I tried to have faith in her. Co-worker at Kool Smiles came to me telling me she was "devious" and they insulted Christian's because she is a huge insult to God. She was so ungodly and I poured my heart out to her for the month we were friend's. She was the first person I told about my myspace situtation and Kristen Moorehead stalking me. She knew everything but, I didn't listen to those females at Kool Smiles because they also tried to talk me into messing up the manager's BMW truck. I knew that if I did, no matter what, I would look back. My emails in the past, especially the one's that were saved in draft are proof. I had a dream about Jessica Sharp being at a club and having her throat ripped open. Remember when I kept saying "they said they'd rip my throat open"...well, I told Johnson, "kris isn't that sick...she didn't make the sickest profile's....Sharpie did". And I had that dream....and honestly, I thought I had the dream because she WAS the one who made the profile so, I wrote in MY email account again knowing it was monitered saying "NAHHHH" and "HAAA"...."I know YOU did that profile and you're karma will be my dreams"...but, yes, I did say that through email but, that dream scared me. I wrote about it in my journal. I wrote up crying because I hadn't seen anything that grapic. I wrote that in my dream, Sharpie was braver than me because she was upset with her attacker and I was crying. But, when I woke up...I thought that again...I was having some type of intuition. While being stalked on playlist...the summer of 2008 and before Kool smiles, people kept following me and stalking me and making comments about me on so many levels. That's why I kept sending email's or typing on playlist saying "someone is getting fucked" or "someone is thinking about fucking me"...I even said "someone had anal last night".....Do you get it? I thought that Kris and I had telepathic communication....I went from thinking she was thinking about me, to thinking we had some type of bond and maybe she was with someone else but, I could feel it and I made comments about feeling's things all summer...that's how I ended up saying "stop saying I am a witch....God gives me intuition". Besides the dreams about my father molesting me, I keep having dreams about Latosha Johnson saying "I have to tell you something"...my art on blingee reflects that. I am the black looking the other way like "noooo, I don't want to know". For my birthday, I had a nightmare about my father molesting me, excepting my mother and brother were in the hallway and when he said someone to me, I told him that and he hurried up. When I walked out the hallway, my mother and brother looked upset, disappointed but, said nothing and neither did I. I also had another nightmare after telling someone online that if people want to see me, they have to go through hell first because I am not putting any video's online or going into chat rooms. I had a dream that same night and instead of going to my journal, I typed it online. Not only was did I have that night mare but, Blingee promoted a picture of a clown with a birthday hat on and a tear falling down. That site has the power to advertise what you are doing, while you are doing it. It's like another form of spyware. There are use's on Blingee who are either a computer talking or they have third eye vision or are a part of blue beam and monarch project. the voice's i heard the most were kristen's and i hard Tracy's alot while at Kool Smiles and I also heard Latosha Johnson's. I didn't hear Tambry's voice but, I told myself that whenever my teeth would "crunch" or grit...that it was because that's what she used to do when I was around. I thought that my teeth grinding together meant she's around me, she's mad....because she talked about things I did in my home. she and Elieen and Johnson did also. I could lie and say they all watched me in my home but, those are the people who mentioned things...except Tracey. She was phoney to my face but, I heard her vocie. Does that mean they gave their DNA or was it stolen? Why didn't I hear my ex's voice? She hates me, too. I have so much proof and documentation. I look back and I know the blue beam was something I reconized because people made it so clear...but, I feel like "this had been around since the 60's so, this could've affected me a long time ago like before I even came to town".
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aliceiris711
created by: aliceiris711

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Blingee stamps used

11 graphics were used to create this "i was born to tell you i love you" picture.
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Mirror Mirror on the Wall...
Ballerina
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Gold Crown
green eye
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Adorable Angel =^-^=
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Comments

phoenixlife

phoenixlife says:

1732 days ago
I most surely do not use the word "agenda" as in "mission." I use agenda interchangeably with "purpose." I believe we all have a purpose in life, with some being more driven than others. Example, I do the work I do with the personal "purpose" of informing youth about specific internal and external processes that may impede their individual life's goal achievement.  Simplified; "If you keep doing "this shit" "that shit" can happen."  Like informing them about their online behavior, or their 
phoenixlife

phoenixlife says:

1732 days ago
behavior within the community. Helping them to understand that they may not have the right/amount of "resources" to protect themselves when trying to emulate their "idols".  Helping them to learn how to read "themselves, as, many of our young people are "disconnected from self" and do not understand their connection to the rest of the world. "learned helplessness" can be unlearned if the "ability to choose" and "concept of identity" is taught.
aliceiris711

aliceiris711 says:

1769 days ago
In both Egypt and Chinese traditions the lion is the guardian of knowledge. They guard the knowledge under their paws. When you look under their paws, what do you find?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GaV9M-mKgM

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